Revelations about marriage. Part 1



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There are a lot of myths about marriage that are all bound up with wrong expectations. We all know them from our early childhood and all the fairytales in the children’s books and love story novels, romantic movies, the glamorous life of famous people… What really is marriage? A contract, living together, love or…? Here are some refuted myths about marriage:

 

 

 

1)      Marriage will redeem your loneliness.

Marriage is actually not a guarantee for lack of loneliness. It all depends on the relationship between partners.

2)      Marriage is for everybody.

There are a lot of non-married couples who feel really happy.

3)      The married couples are not only partners in love and life, they are also best friends.

It seems wonderful and realistic. After all, it’s ok to expect to be best friends with your partner since you know him more than everyone else. But you should be aware of the fact that a romantic relationship is a lot different from a friendly one. One person could not be so many things at the same time. Don’t reproach yourself if the woman who lives across the street is a better friend than your husband.

4)      The key for a long and successful marriage is happiness and love.

The keys are actually the shared responsibilities, the engagement, the commitment, the friendly relationship, the honesty, devotion, common interests and values.

5)      When two people are married, they start having sex not as often as they used to.

Not only it is more often, but also it is physically and emotionally more satisfying.

6)      The husband/wife must always guess what his/her partner wants.

The fact that you are married does not mean that you could read minds. That is why you should communicate with each other when something bothers you.

7)      The conflicts mean lack of love.

You should realize that each family argues sometimes. If they don’t, then there is probably a problem. To fight in a fair way for the good of your relationship when you don’t aim only to win the fight, is always healthy for the marriage. Wouldn’t it have been really boring if you both agreed with everything?

8)      Marriage makes you a perfect human being.

Not the marriage, but the person should live in a harmony with himself in order to be fully devoted to a valuable relationship.

9)      Married couples do everything together.

It’s really important for everyone to have his personal space. In this way both partners have the opportunity to feel more satisfied because he has his own island where he could escape.

10)  Money solves all kinds of problems.

Money is a really important factor for the calmness in the family, but they can not be the solution of everything.

11)  Marriage is a relationship between only two people.

This is actually not exactly right. There are also many other people who are involved – mothers, fathers, children, sisters, brothers, neighbors, best friends… You should defer with all these people.

12)  He/she will change after the wedding.

You are really wrong if you think that this will happen. You will be really disappointed. Actually, you could only change yourself (to start being a realist, because after all “life is things that happen while we are making other plans and having other expectations”).



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