What should women know about men? Part 1

Image: © Lev Dolgatsjov / Fotolia

The power of men’s ego


“I can not understand why my husband wants me to be depressed. Before, we never contradicted one another when I criticized him about his clothes. Now, he gets angry when I say something about what he is wearing. Before, he used to help me with everything, but now when I got back to work and when I really need his help, he refuses to do anything.”

The husband of this woman suffers from the so called “damaged ego”. He understands that his wife should go back to work, but deep inside he can not agree with that.

His sensitive ego suffers, because he realizes that he can no longer fend for his family without the help of his wife. He feels incapable of doing that, he defenses himself and becomes critical towards every real or imaginary threat.

He can not realize the problem with his ego and his wife makes things worse by complaining all the time. No man is protected from “damaged ego”. Nowadays, the competitive society makes men face a lot of threats that affect their manhood.

Listen to your man, do not criticize him. The woman, who manages to heal the damaged ego of her husband, could become the most important person in his life. She will get in return his love and appreciation and these two things will turn your relationship into something really beautiful.


Men need comfort and quietness


A group of men were asked about what they want to have at home. They all didn’t dream of a luxury car, a swimming pool or expensive furniture. They just wanted calmness. The tension at work is huge. The stress from the efforts that men make to keep their job, to be appreciated from their boss and to earn enough money, is so big that they need a lot of support and comfort at home. This is the reason why calmness is the first thing in the list of their needs.

And who could find calmness in all the mess and disorder? He has the right to expect his wife to deal with all the house work and to take care of the kids. This need is so deep that each man dreams of a beautiful, well dressed woman that welcomes them in their home with love and a prepared delicious dinner. Women need financial stability and men need comfort and calmness.


Men need a partner for their entertainment


In the book “His needs and her needs”, U.F. Harley places the relaxing communication in the second place among the needs of men, right after the sexual needs. I totally agree with his claim, because the communication and the sharing create intimacy between the partners. Men love actions. It doesn’t matter if they are going to throw rocks, shoot trees, kick boxes or run around something. Since they were little, they gather together and make things without a lot of conversations. The grown man continues with the actions even in the company of his wife. He wants to be entertained by doing things together with her, not by speaking with her. Sharing a certain action with her satisfies his needs and he feels happy. In this way, men feel closer to their wives and this creates intimacy between them and their partners. Women are experts in accompanying their friends and partners.

But when the marriage comes, they no longer feel that they need to be with them on a vacation or somewhere else, because now there are a lot of more important things to do – like cleaning the house, cooking and taking care of the children. But women, who miss their chances to be with their husbands because of certain things, could realize that despite of their efforts, they will never manage to create the feeling of intimacy between them and their partners.

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