How to speak more effectively with your husband?

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Communication in the family

The emotions which are a result of a bad or good communication are the things that are left in the end. That is why we should communicate better with other people.

Of course, the first place is taken by the communication in the family, especially the one with your partner. In order to avoid misunderstandings, unsaid things which are as heavy as rocks for your soul and you have to carry them for so long, you should talk about them and it is important to know how exactly to do it.


Choosing the right time for a conversation is really important. If you decide to talk with your husband in a moment when he is busy with something else, you might end not that happy: men usually focus their attention only on one task and ignore the side things like the important conversation that you would like to have with them. You could define a particular time for your conversation and for example tell him “I would like to discuss…with you after dinner”. In this way, you give him time to think about the particular thing and you express your attentions for a conversation by which you reserve his time.


You could start the conversation with some good words for him for example. Everybody likes to receive compliments and if the conversation starts positively, the chances for it to end the same way are bigger.


The family conversations about important stuff are most likely to turn into a battle field before you know it. That’s why you should avoid using offensive clichés like “you always”, “you never”.  Explain to him that you would like to have a constructive conversation, not a generalized and rude one. Try to replace the clichés with “I think”, “I want to”. In this way you are talking about yourself and you are not assaulting your partner.


Do no exaggerate. The exaggerating won’t lead to anything useful.

Do not go back to past things. The insult for past things usually remains unsaid. But if you say what is bothering you in time, this insult won’t even exist. It is wrong to say “Do you remember what your mother once said to me?”… Everybody has old problems and talking about those past problems leads to nothing but a fight. Women often think that their husbands are always making the opposite of what they have told them to do. And women don’t realize that nor could men, nor could women read thoughts. After all, you should not fuss about everything. Just say straight exactly what you want.


Do not discuss more than one thing at the same time. Finish the first subject of the conversation and then discuss the other.


And at the end, play fair if you would like the conversation to be useful for both of you. If you would like him to listen carefully and if you want to say everything that bothers you, let your husband talk too. Do not interrupt him, do not yell and listen carefully if he deserves it (if he does the same for you). The fair rules make the conversations easier and allow them to flow calmly.

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