The mother-in-law – instructions for use

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Why is the fight between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law always so epic, horrifying and at the same time endless?


The psychologists are clear: the mother is the role model in the man’s consciousness. Even if he doesn’t realize this, every man searches for a wife who responds to his view of a woman-mother. This thing is buried deep inside of him since his childhood. It is normal for people to search for such role models in marriage – the same models that their mothers have created in the family. A mother forms the taste of her child. She had created an example for him of a good housewife, mother and wife. Even if the son of a particular mother doesn’t get on well with her, he subconsciously compares his mother with his wife.


Rule №1: You should never try to argue with her. Stay n-e-u-t-r-a-l.


Rule №2: It is pointless and naïve to try to unite with your mother-in-law against her son and your own husband. In time, he might forgive her for the war she started, but he will never forgive you – you are a traitor in his eyes. Besides, especially if he is her only son, he might start feeling ignored, unloved and abandoned… and he might decide to search for someone else’s love (not his mother’s).


Rule №3: It is even more naïve to try to calumniate and disqualify the woman, who sang songs to him before he goes to sleep, took care of his wounds, applauded his successes and supported him when he had a problem. You can not compete with all that! After all, every person has only one mother (…and he could have a few wives).


Rule №4: If something in her behavior annoys you, it would be best if you put the cards on the table at the beginning of your marriage: a calm way of communicating and existing, no intruding in the relationships between you and your husband, cares and advices – only if they are wanted.


You should be aware of the fact that family life is not always so calm. And when something goes wrong, usually the mother-in-law starts meddling. No matter if you want it or not, she will try to “help” you with the problems in your relationship. This is the thing that you shouldn’t let to happen. Do not try to stop her by word attacks and blockades. When the mother-in-law believes that she is doing the right thing, she is ready to make everything to win the fight and make her “mission” successful.

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