The signs for a crisis in the family

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There are plenty of signs for a crisis in the family. Most often, the psychologists mention the crisis of adaptation – the time when the family life begins (or the living together), where the power struggle begins. If even in a way, this stage of your living together starts provoking violence and aggression (physical or verbal), you should be alert.


Family violence is the most often sign that the two partners have serious incongruity between them, especially when this aggressive behavior starts in the beginning of the family life. Do not let it all become your way of dealing with the problems and conflicts and do not hope that if you have a child – it will all change. Do not believe that the aggressive person next to you will change his behavior. You should better realize that you need professional help that will give you the right advice about how to deal with the conflicts.


Besides, there is a proof that the first serious crisis in the marriage comes in the 3rd year of your living together. Then the crisis of “puberty” comes – when your bigger child is at the age of the early puberty. The crisis of the “empty nest” – when children grow up and leave their family and their parents are all alone.


The most often reason for a family crisis is the infidelity or the doubts for infidelity. It could happen any time. Infidelity is the most painful and insulting thing in a relationship. It ruins your dignity, praise and the trust towards your partner. It is possible that you run into divorce. It starts with family scandals and ends with irreversible alienation. In such situation the family home turns into a hotel for a sojourn.


This is the so called “crisis of trust” which should make you start consultations with a specialist. It is really dangerous, especially when you feel painful jealousy. This condition has nothing to do with “Is he cheating on me or not?” The jealousy that goes off limits is a matter of psychotherapy. The jealous person should just be “healed” from all this and believe me, it is not easy. Answer these questions:


  1. Do you continually track the schedule of your partner?
  2. Do you feel that he/she surpasses you? (physically, intellectually and materially)
  3. Are you convinced that there is something in his/her life that he/she doesn’t want to share with you in purpose?
  4. Do you manage to fall asleep easily when he/she is not home, is at a party or a meeting?
  5. Do you have the constant wish to be with him/her everywhere he/she goes?
  6. Do you feel that he/she has become more seducing lately and not because of you?
  7. Do you get palpitation or do you get angry when somebody else starts talking about your partner’s intimacy?
  8. Are you ready to hire a detective agency to track your partner?
  9. Do you always think of the past intimate relationships of your partner?
  10. Do you check his/her phone texts, his/her calls and his/her notes?
  11. Are you afraid that your husband/wife will be taken away under your nose?
  12. Do you think that your gender is smarter that the opposite one?


If your answer to more than five questions is “yes” – you should ask yourself “Is it normal to be so jealous?”


Jealousy could be a normal condition of love, but it could also be pain that we stick deep inside of us. It could be stuck there because of past emotional experience that has marked us for life. The pathological jealousy should be cured, because it affects our relationship and it alienates us from our partners. Do not let yourself be in pain and do not hurt your partner – just consult a specialist before it is too late. This could save your marriage.


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